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Why is this happening to me??
daddy,
Oh how I miss you.
Every morning, when I send Davin to school, you would be sending Bryan to school and then you will do your gardening and feeding the fishes in the pond. Now, when i come back home, your car stays where it was when I left to send the boys to school and I do a bit of gardening and fish feeding to experience what you go through everyday.
Every morning when I reach the office, you will already be there and I will park next to your car. Now I feel very lonely everytime I park at the spot next to where your car used to parked.
When I slowly slip to my office room, you would be in your office room reading the morning papers and going through documents on your messy table. Now your office room's door is widely open with an empty desk, it sounds so quiet and I feel lonely.
When I go to classes, you will always call me to remind me to pick up the boys because you are having lunch with your friends. Now my handphone stays quiet everytime it is almost lunch time and I feel lonely.
When I reach home, you will constantly remind me to do the laundry and grumbling away while I show my innocent expression. Now, I have to remind myself about my duties and not have the chance to make you grumble all the way.
When you peek into my car, you will be making comments about the amount of sugar water I drink everyday by noticing empty tins of ice lemon tea in the car and how it effects my weight. Now I can't make you angry anymore.
When we have dinner, your eyes constantly watching the movement of my spoon and signaling to me that it's already enough then I will unwillingly move away from the dining table. Now we eat dinner quietly and you are not there complaining about the amount of rice I take.
When my car is dirty, you would be washing it together with the other cars and washing the floors making it slippery to walk on. Now the floors are dry and the cars are getting dirtier by the day.
When you come back from golf, you would be boasting away with a wide smile about your good game and how well you played. Now, no one comes through the door smiling so proudly about golf like you.
When I stay online for hours in the middle of the night, you would come down and watch tv and telling me to go to bed so that I wont use the excuse of being sleepy the next morning. Now it is already 2.14am and there is no one coming down the staircase to chase me to bed.
Daddy, so many things that I can't get used to. So many things that make me miss you and wish you didn't join the trip. So many times I wished I had told you that I love you and has always appreciate the things you have done for me and our family. So many things was left unsaid... so many chances that had been wasted.
Though I have done so many bad things in my life, I know how deep your love was for us the children and no many how harsh you words may be but I know that your heart is soft and fragile.
Time will pass by, but my love for you will never pass
Till we meet again one day,
I LOVE YOU.
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